The Reasons He Cried
by JTea-Holic
Summary: After the birth of his daughter, Hatori reflects on the various times in his life that he was brought to tears as well as the events in his life that led him to that moment. Contains some spoilers from episode 8 of the anime as well as spoilers from chapter 57 of the manga.


**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters in Fruits Basket/ Fruits Basket Another. There are some pieces of dialogue and thoughts that I've incorporated into the story from the eighth episode of the Fruits Basket anime and some chapters from the manga. So there will be spoilers, haha.**

 **Lastly, in this story, Akito is male, just like in the anime, just to keep things a little more simple and to keep the focus more on Hatori.**

While Hatori Sohma was not one to express his emotions openly, there were a few times in his life when he was moved to tears. He had not even cried when his mother and later his father died from illness. To him, emotions were a fleeting thing that proved to be irrational.

But as he watched his wife Mayuko slumbering peacefully in the hospital bed with their newborn daughter, his thoughts went back to the past.

Back when he was first practicing medicine in his private clinic, he had met Kana. She was a distant cousin from the Sohma family who was unaware of the curse. Although she was only supposed to be training as an assistant under Hatori's care, they both felt something more in the time they spent together.

He loved her optimism and unique way of looking at life. He appreciated the amount of effort and thoughtfulness she showed towards everything she did. Likewise, she appreciated his contemplative nature and the attentiveness with which he treated his patients. She noticed that underneath his cold exterior, there was a gentle and kind-hearted man who was simply lonely.

Hatori had come to love this girl, but because of the curse, he was afraid. He feared letting himself get close to anyone, even those among the cursed. He feared how she would react to seeing him in his cursed form. He was terrified that she, like many others, would reject him. But in spite of his fears, he let himself fall in love.

The first few months they were together were like a dream. The thick layer of ice that Hatori had built around his heart over the years began to thaw into spring. With Kana, he experienced emotions and things he thought he would never be able to feel.

However… the wonderful dream began to shatter the day he had accidentally transformed in front of her.

That was it. He had destroyed his chances at happiness. After he reported this mistake to the head of the family, he'd be forced to erase Kana's memory.

Bringing his focus back to the present, he could only wait for his body to transform back as he lay there in his scrawny seahorse form.

While she held the scrawny seahorse in her petite hands, instead of showing the disgust he anticipated, she panicked. She was unsure of whether it was appropriate for him to be in freshwater or saltwater in his bathtub. Seeing her so flustered as she clumsily threw him into the hot bathtub amused him. Still, he had his guard up.

Once he transformed back, he waited for the rejection. For the accusations and the harsh judgments. But they never came. As she wiped his hair with a towel, she fully understood the reasons behind his distance.

 _I've been wondering why it was that you never wanted to hold me. It's because you were afraid. Is that it? You were afraid of what would happen if I found out?_

 _That's why you keep your distance from people, especially the ones you love. But you don't have to be afraid, not of me._ She stopped wiping for a moment as she continued to talk to him.

 _Hatori, I'm so glad to have met you,_ she said, her eyes welling up with tears.

 _And I'm even happier to have fallen in love with you. I want to stay with you!_

As she still held the towel in her hands, she pulled Hatori's head towards her own. They leaned their heads against each other, touching each other as close as they could without causing another transformation. 

Out of fear, he could only keep his downcast eyes focused on the ground because he could not bear to look at her. But the gentle words and the loving way she held his head broke him, unleashing the tears he had locked away. Together, they stayed as they were, crying together.

 _No matter what he did, he was unable to stop the tears. He felt like he was finally allowed to be happy, to actually treasure someone who truly loved him. This marked the first time that he cried._

—*—

Wanting to pursue a life of happiness together, the two wished to get married. Before they could do that, the couple paid a visit to the head of the family in order to ask for his blessing.

With Kana behind him, Hatori walked up to Akito and bowed before he assumed a kneeling position in front of the family head. Once he was permitted to speak, Hatori asked for his blessing in his marriage with Kana.

For a few minutes, there was a deafening silence that felt like eternity. The family head was sickly and frail, but even with the large kimono that covered his small frame, he had a menacing presence. He stayed seated at his place by the closed window for a short while, his eyes hidden by his long black bangs.

In a matter of seconds, everything seemed to escalate. Suddenly, a _crash_ echoed in the spacious room. With a low scowl, Akito had grabbed a nearby vase and thrust it upon Hatori's head, prompting a cry of horror to escape from Kana's lips. _No, I won't allow it! I refuse to allow it!_ Akito growled.

Kana watched the scene unfold before her eyes, the shards of the vase flying in various directions. As Hatori groaned in pain, he grasped his left eye with one of his hands, using the other to support the rest of his body from falling over. Looking back at his hand, he saw a pool of blood dripping from his left eye.

For a brief moment, Akito snapped out of his rampage; he seemingly switched gears, showing concern for the cousin he just injured. He crouched down to where Hatori was hunched over, calling out to him. _Hatori… what's wrong? Hatori…_ he cried as he shook his shoulder.

 _You did this…_ he pointed an accusatory finger at Kana. _This is your fault! If Hatori loses his sight, it's your fault. Your fault!_ he kept repeating. The gears switching again, he went from concerned to violent again.

 _Kana…_ Hatori called out to her before he crouched down again from the pain. After each accusation, Kana could only cower in fear, the tears cascading down her face. Through her blurry vision, she could see the love of her life, crawling towards her. Now that they faced each other, she could clearly see the extent of his injury as the pool of blood continued spilling down his face, splashing onto the tatami mat.

 _Do you think you can lift the Sohma curse, do you?_ He glared at Kana, his eyes full of rage. Getting up again, he pulled his kimono over his shoulder again and appeared ready to lunge towards her, possibly to bring about more damage than he had done to Hatori.

Before he could get to her, Shigure barged into the room and held Akito back. _Kana, quick! Take Hatori out of here!_ he called out to Kana. Realizing that she was in danger, she tried to get up but found she was paralyzed with fear.

 _Let me go! You can't lift the curse. We don't need you here! You're worthless to us! It's your fault!_ he called after the young couple.

Nothing was ever the same after that. This time, the wonderful dream really did shatter, just like the vase that day.

Hatori was nearly blinded in his left eye after that ordeal, and Kana continued to blame herself for the accident, spiraling into a deep depression. Akito may have caused physical damage to Hatori, but the trauma Akito gave to Kana ran much deeper.

Regardless of how much Hatori and her close friend Mayuko tried their best to comfort her, she could only collapse into tears. There was nothing they could do to console her. She wouldn't allow herself to sleep or eat, and spent extended periods of time just staring straight at nothing. When she hadn't passed out from exhaustion, she was continuously mouthing the words, _I'm sorry_. The image was heartbreaking.

Desperate to save her, he resorted to his final option. He would have to erase her memory using's their family's ancient technique; not just of the incident or the Sohma curse, but of the time they spent together. He would have to sacrifice his happiness for her own.

Whether he wanted to or not, he didn't have a choice. He had been called by Akito a second time to discuss the matter, and had ordered Hatori to erase her memory. So even if he wished it otherwise, he could not get himself to disobey the will of his god.

 _At this moment, it's her feelings for you… her memories of you… that are causing her to suffer. You're the only one who can save her,_ Akito whispered in his ears as he played with Hatori's tie. _You can put an end to her suffering. It will be your final act of love, Hatori._

The pair of lovers met in Akito's dark room one final time to conduct the memory erasing ceremony. Kana, still in her sickly state, kept repeating, _It would have been better if you and I had never met._ Hearing those words had hurt Hatori, but in his heart, he knew that she was right. 

He placed one of his hands over Kana's eyes, preparing to start the process. _Thank you, Kana. Everything will be alright now. You won't have to be troubled for me any longer._

 _I hope that one day you will be able to meet someone who can truly make you happy. It is my dearest wish that you do,_ he whispered, using his other hand to gently clasp the one that reached out to him. 

_Hatori, I'm so sorry that I wasn't able to protect you. Forgive me,_ she continued to cry, the tears cascading down her face. His eyes filled with pain, Hatori was unsure of what to say as he clasped Kana's hand as tightly as he could. Soon, a bright beam of light flashed before their eyes and illuminated the room as she fell backwards. 

_Looking at the sleeping form of his beloved, he cried for the second time. He cried for the lost memories of their time together and for the beautiful dream that had slipped from his grasp._

—*—

Somewhat flustered, he looked at the tall, grown woman who had melted to tears, crying her eyes out as they both stood on the bridge.

Although he was not known to care much about what others thought, he found his eyes darting around nervously, checking to see if any passers by were witnessing this spectacle and were not assuming the worst of him.

It was too late though, since Mayuko's loud wailing was enough to cause a disruption, bringing people's attention straight over to them. Now, they were going to think that he had broken up with her something, which was something that he didn't need right now.

 _Hey… you're an adult already… do you really think you should be doing this?_ he asked her, still unsure of what to do.

He hadn't anticipated any of this to happen. It was a nice summer day, and he was tired, looking for any kind of excuse to get outside the stifling Sohma compound. But with Akito's needy nature, he knew that he was not able to go about as he pleased, so he had to make it count.

Why was she crying though? Why was she insisting that his belief that he didn't deserve to be happy was a lie? Didn't she remember all the pain that he and his curse put Kana through? Wouldn't it want to make her despise him? Why did his happiness concern her so much anyway?

He couldn't bring it in himself to move on and search for his own happiness. He knew that while Kana was able to do that for herself, it didn't feel right for him. He didn't deserve it, and he didn't know if he ever would earn the right to do so ever again.

In the midst of his bewilderment, his mind wandered back to the crying child he saw when he got back to the Sohma main house the day before. He remembered how jealous he felt towards the little boy who was able to recklessly cry without even considering the consequences of those actions. A child who knew that he could expect comfort from his mother.

The older he became, the less he found that he was able to cry like that. He had locked away his feelings in another block of ice, more formidable than the last, with the intent for it to stay that way this time.

However, as he looked back again at the hysterical woman in front of him, he felt something stirring in him again. Never in his twenty nine years of life, had he ever seen someone cry so deeply and so hard for his sake.

Pulling out the handkerchief in his pocket to wipe away some of her tears, he spoke softly, _You were crying for me in my place… so thank you._

Hatori gave her most genuine and gentle smile he had made in quite some time. It was the kind of smile that she often observed when he was with Kana, a smile that she had dreamed of but had never expected to receive.

 _D-don't mention it… I'm glad to have been of service to you… but don't expect me to do this again for you in the future! You have a girlfriend now, so tell her to cry for you!_ she sputtered out, her face beet red and her eyes turned towards the other direction.

Girlfriend? Hatori had no idea of what she was talking about. _I don't have a girlfriend…_ and then it clicked… _you got tricked by Shigure again, didn't you?_

Under this realization, Mayuko's face became even more flushed than before. _Give them back! I want all of my tears back with interest!_ she demanded, putting her hand out as if she expected him to force himself to cry those tears into her palms in order to "pay her back."

 _You're not making sense… but if you're free, do you want to get something to eat, as an apology and as thanks._

 _You're asking me out when my face looks like such as mess after crying?_

 _You don't want to go?_ he teased her, acting seemingly cold again.

 _I'll go!_ she yelled, apparently no longer angry out of her eagerness not to let this opportunity go to waste.

As they walked to his car to look for a place to eat, Mayuko was back to her energetic self, going off about drinking as much beer as she can.

 _For years, he had been crying in his heart for his first love, but she was the one who cried for him. She noticed the pain he harbored, crying the tears that he could not cry for himself, taking the pain as her own. And for that, he was grateful._

—*—

Hatori's body felt funny for quite some time now, but the results from his physical examinations showed that he was perfectly healthy. In a way, his body began to feel lighter, less occupied by something.

More and more, he started to really feel like his body was his own. This, he concluded, was possibly the result of the curse weakening.

He had discussed the curse with Shigure on a few occasions, and he too suspected that the Sohma curse would be broken soon. After all, this was the first time that all of the members of the zodiac, including their god, had all gathered together since the time of the first banquet.

Tohru's presence had not only touched them, but had also proved to further weaken the curse. He knew what Shigure was scheming of and openly disapproved of the way that he was using her. However, he did nothing to stop him from using the poor girl he had come to appreciate.

As he was thinking about these things, he felt a sharp twinge of pain in his chest. Looking up at the sky, he felt something leaving him. Although he could not see the spirit with his own eyes, he could almost sense its presence at it drifted through the sky to be reunited with its kin.

For his whole life, he had hated the curse. He had seen the pain that it caused in his own life, as well as the lives of his cousins.

The pain and the rejection with which parents disregarded their own children, or the greed and selfishness that had come with their special status. He had seen it all.

And yet, despite this pain and suffering at the hands of the curse, he could not bring himself to hate and disregard everything. Though his bonds and closeness with the other members of the **Junshi** and their god were contrived and artificial, a burden that was forced upon him, he could not completely begrudge it.

Perhaps this was the result of the curse, in its last attempts to maintain his hold on him. But even if it was, Hatori wasn't concerned about that at the moment. Despite the pain that the curse brought to him, this was a farewell that wasn't just relieving, but also bittersweet.

 _Goodbye, my long-time friend, he called out to the dragon as he felt its spirit leave him. As he said his last goodbyes to his lifelong companion, a tear managed to slip down his long face. This marked the third time that he cried._

—*—

Hatori's mind was brought back to the present with the sound of baby's cry. He had fallen asleep on the chair he was slouching on for a lot longer than he expected, but the night had been long for the two of them.

Shifting closer to the bed where his wife lay resting, he grabbed the baby from her arms, holding her for the first time.

Although he knew that his curse was gone for good, in the back of his mind and in his heart, he had always feared that the curse would come back, and that the many good years of memories would disappear just like that… Or that possibly, his daughter would be reclaimed as one of the cursed.

As he looked at the red-skinned and raw newborn baby in his arms, he felt something stirring in him. He closed his eyes and turned away, still holding her and waiting expectantly for that _pop_ sound along with the puff of smoke, only to reveal a change in either of their forms.

But despite his own fears, he and his daughter maintained their human shape. She cried out a little, but was soon lulled into a deep sleep once again.

That sense of dread Hatori felt for the A sense of happiness, but something much more deeper… a sense of joy that far outweighed the pain that he had experienced in much of the first three decades of his life.

Much of the ice in his heart had melted away, but with this, it was as if the last traces finally dissipated into thin air, rising up and causing his tears to overflow and pool down his face.

 _His reason for crying this time was almost like that moment he finally felt sure of his own happiness for the first time with Kana. The moment he could finally imagine a future in which he could be free and happy. But unlike that memory which was just a fleeting dream, this was a tangible future that he could grasp with his hands and never let go._

 _—_

 **Hope ya guys liked it! ^_^ When I first read Fruits Basket, Hatori was probably one of my favorite characters, with Shigure pretty high up there too. Rewatching the episode that shows his past hurt my heart just as much as it did the first time I watched the anime.**

 **When I read Fruits Basket Another, I was excited to see Hatori and Mayu's daughter Kinu in the manga. It made me wonder what thoughts and emotions were going through his head when Kinu was born. I'm a little disappointed that the main cast of Furuba isn't really shown in the sequel except through some of the flashbacks and extras at the end of the volumes, but I'll take what I can get, haha.**

 **Still, now that Fruits Basket is coming back again as a reboot, hopefully more faithful to the manga, I'll have something to be excited about again.**

 **I know that this one felt kinda redundant or copy heavy with how much I was taking from the anime and manga, so I'm sorry about that. I was trying to experiment with some things, and I'll try to get better at this.**


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